Less than optimal habit… (Extended Exploration of Ideas) – Attraction and Desire


The correct response when a girl turns you down is not ‘oh that’s cool’, although thats steps above many other possible ways to react. ‘sucks for me’ would be one possible response, or some other thing…. that would be better than that. ‘oh thats cool’ implies that it is up to you to grant that it is, indeed, cool, when in fact it is always their call and always cool… bitchy, irritated, and angry, etcetera responses, i reckon, are far more common than we would like (guilty, although not recently) and particularly more common among people .. (thinking, of course of boys and men here, since i am one, although i imagine this is equally applicable, although likely not (nearly?) as common among other gender pairings, or the female in a hetero conversation (which would imply that she took the initiative in something, something i imagine many straight guys wish women would do more of) .. who have through lack of experience, just age, or the myriad other factors, have yet to find a (relatively) strong place of confidence and/or self-worth to stand on within themselves. I suppose an unexamined sense of ‘entitlement’ would also be pointed to by many … but I don’t feel like thinking up alternate terms or definitions for the ‘entitlement’ noted, and I feel that ‘sense of entitlement’ is often used as a derogatory club (such as by baby boomers talking about millennials, or in myriad other places where it may be someone’s go to phrase, and may the accusation of ‘entitlement’ does not in all cases reflect a solid knowledge of what is driving the supposedly offending behavior … such as in cases where someone in a privileged position or class objects to a less privileged persons claim on equal treatment or some right or privilege that the privilege one believes they are not entitled to..)

Hope that is not too difficult to untangle and that I didn’t miss anything integral to the points. I shall try to remember to use a better response next time I get shot down instead of ‘oh that’s cool’. Somewhat of a bummer that my request and response seemed to spin the delightful young lady out of the deep and complex ideas and philosophical discussion she had been flowing effortlessly through with me (mostly me listening with brief comments) touching on and linking so many things together so quickly that I can’t really remember all the bits although i suppose it was sort of ‘theories of reality’ ‘theories of people’ and various other stuff and onto more mundane everyday things, and individual people… I wonder what I could have said that would have made the same request without breaking her train of thought (did I?) although I think we did get back onto some interesting stuff after that. it was a sort of unique and you had to be there sort of rap/exchange, which would have been impossible in that form if there had been a third person in the room. Do hope she comes around again soon and often. Some people, and under some circumstances, their magicalness shines unusually brightly to those with eyes and ears attuned for what is happening. Totally put me in a way better mood than my antisocial and brooding on the other problems before she came to hang out in the living room away from the rest.

Ray of Light

Have been sort of concerned I may have put her off due to various past misadventures, errors,  negative conditioning, prevailing mindsets or unconscious attitudes absorbed from society,  and lingering traces of lack of confidence in, for lack of a better word I can think of just now, ‘affectual’ exchanges [edit: perhaps, ‘making a move’?] with women from my younger life. [Difficult sentence to untangle, I see now, but I do not want to fuck with it; I might just make it even more convoluted and impossible]  But judging on the large bulk of what passed thereafter, I think I am reading imaginary things into just a couple of signs. Truly doom and gloom can whip up a hurricane of doubt and fear over a little glamour (in the magical-cognitive sense) on nothing.

It is just more correct to say something more reflective of what has actually happened, rather than weakly affirming that you are not going to have a violent negative emotion from the turn down (and implying that anyone needs your approval or permission to turn you down). *Le sigh*, woe is me, another unavailable person who is so much of what I really want, at least seemingly. I suppose I shall have to actually get my income stream and other problematical things like disastrous housekeeping and some effort on dating profiles into a more passable (or perhaps even outstanding) shape one of these days (sooner than later, one hopes!)… Some improvement has happened in a quite small way on income, help with housekeeping/reorg/rehab, and social life, although there are also drawbacks to having roommates for dating I suppose, just recently.

My suspicion is that she is already attached to the other friend we (the current and former roommates/roommate respectively who were hanging out with the new younger folk) just met who later turned up to give her a ride, rotten luck again for me… There are so many other things we could do together as friends and allies, and in which the age difference would not be looked on with suspicion/disapproval/what-have-you by those who will judge others choices.

I could probably keep this rolling on to other things, but I would like a few people to actually finish it.. [note: a key reason I decided to go ahead and say what I said was that she had a few minutes earlier commented on how problematical it is for people to suppress things, although I forget the precise context of the node in the rap she was flowing through. So I said, “Just in the interest of not suppressing things [what I was desiring].”



[End Note: I do and have, often, sincerely wished open or polyamorous attachments were more the norm, although never having really had the opportunity to try that, I cannot be certain how well I would handle it. And due to numerous factors, I have never really stuck to (or in certain cases blew the option) a relationship long enough for it to really deepen and grow extensively entangled [example: living together as a couple], so I cannot truly say how satisfied I would be with the monogamous option with someone who really hit all my buttons like that conversation. Or various other times I remember failing to grab or blew the chance or didn’t have the option to pair with (or even date) someone I really felt was the one I truly wanted in that particular moment (or year…) of the zeitgeist of my existence. Sometimes it seems having the polyamory option being acknowledged as on the table in ‘normal’ circles of society in 2016 would make everything so much simpler and easier for those who used it. And would close or mitigate some of the popular routes and rationales or excuses or emotional pitfalls that torpedo so many relationships now and throughout history.] … [and would allow delightfully expanded choices for living situations and relationship geometries and dynamics] … [Breaking the Barriers to Desire is a delightful (and the only I have read) book on polyamory (and peoples’ various paths into that choice) that came highly recommended.]  ]

2nd Fin! Wonder if I should see if she’ll read this and what the reaction would be?


An interesting wikipedia clade: “Wikipedia trivia: if you take any article, click on the first link in the article that isn’t in parentheses or italic, and then repeat, you will eventually end up in “Philosophy”. from the mouseover text of http://xkcd.com/903/ which the picture for I can’t post for some reason. I find this fascinating and think it must have deep implications. Although I would like to point out that from philosophy the chain goes to reality to existence to world to human to hominini to tribe to biology to natural science before reentering the main loop experienced with all the other articles tested. I personally find human, reality, and especially tribe the most interesting of these links (although to be fair it was “Tribe (Biology)” not tribes of people. But tribe for biology emanates from our original conception of the word tribe.

Tested articles as follows:

10 steps from indefinite and fictitious numbers

17 steps from hebrew bible (which i accidentally clicked on instead of the first link in the above page (3rd link))

Supreme Court of Judicature Act 1873 (random page)
9 to contemporary philosophy
30 to philosophy

chicago police department 21 (random page)

The end of the chain or central loop you usually run into is thus

science to knowledge to fact to experience to experiment to hypothesis to explanation to set(mathematics) to mathematics to quantity to property (philosophy) to logic to reasoning to consciousness to quality (philosophy) to philosophy

Which “natural science” (which philosophy itself runs into above, remember) connects directly to science thus closing the 24 member loop at the center of wikipedia (unless i miscounted) (and thus the sum total of all human knowledge (oops strange loop))

get going

ufortune nest t tins d
remain real
yes you – we’re waiting
step up now
land on the walls of waves
rescind the fortune
seeing the edges while chained within walls
stepping – down , isolation
seeing the tunes bounce true
the ring of lightning the ring of our times
the rhythm
polite society
step the beat wrong
you help you now
no, don’t try to do anything else
you just help you until you can get up
get going

News items of interest

Some recent news which has particularly caught my interest

UK Faces Food Security Catastrophe With Decline in Pollinators

Public Protests About Political Gagging Law to Affect Charities and Activist Groups

Primary campaign group: http://blog.38degrees.org.uk/

On the realities of poverty in America, opposing the myth machines

Burglars who exposed FBI actions against dissent and the peace and civil rights movement tell the public

(1970s) ““It wasn’t just spying on Americans,” said Loch K. Johnson, a professor of public and international affairs at the University of Georgia who was an aide to Senator Frank Church, Democrat of Idaho. “The intent of Cointelpro was to destroy lives and ruin reputations.”

Stale but still aweful: http://abcnews.go.com/m/story?id=95218

I Ching today:

000  – –  x  —
001  —     —
011   – –     – –
011   – –     – –
001  —     —
001  —     —

60 Limitations >>> 61 Inner Truth

The changing line is on how limitations too severe are self defeating, bringing physical imbalance in the realm of asceticism and revolt in the realm of governance.

In the case of the UK story this seems to apply to the lobbying law. Also in trying to eliminate pest insects we encourage their eventual rebound in epidemic proportions (not in story) and decimate the natural populations we rely on for food pollination. Actually I can see it in all five stories.

Posts to come later. Image borrowed from emptyspaceinside.wordpress.com

Also Global Marches Against Monsanto, GMOs

Although I don’t know if all their claims are valid, it does seem to me that GMOs are not proven safe, particularly if some virus began moving the terminator gene or roundup gene to other parts of the food web. Outside possibility, but the longer we keep this up the more likely it will become.

The Chaos Theory of Counterintelligence

speak when you can

spread memetic warfare

trust only the nearest realities

think nothing of the ends

do not believe in fictional concepts

sometimes listen to quantum signs

fix the mind on nothing

transmit everything you think of

do not coerce or invade the rights of others

burn your bridges as you see fit

keep passwords in your wallet

never leave it behind