Timewise

Those memories countless of innumerable days-idle

Lost in distractive circling-screw, app to app or magazine to book to brew

Net dependence unweathered, seeking of The Magic Bullet for one’s ills and failings

Goalposts forever shifting, as projects multiply, mutate, fall aside, recycle

Interpolation of self-help pointers and cure-all systems, all seeking ever, something to tie together more than ephemeral progress-process

Naught! Never yet came the day..

Perseverance, they say, is key, goal to sandwich, sober to studious, job hunt to dating game –

Yet no system will save him, no method can quash that which impels him

To tie together, finally, one day, a victory, to knot the cord again the next day and next –

Limit permutations. Yet also note new ideas [not to plunge headlong that instant though, keep eyes on structural glue]

To each there is a way and a season, and mine is not yours, nor any others’ mine

To each there is a way.. To structure. To reduce. To accumulate those 10,000 mile steps

No more to fall to circling, circling, circling, whether of the Feeds-reading or the many substitutions –

To cut that which stops you for days on end and after – & …

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Thinking of assembling a scheduled posting routine, Monday and Wednesday mornings, to replace the flurries of daily posts followed by long silences. Cutting, thereby, time pressure on other writings, enabling me to progress better on submissions goals & so much more. Hopefully, this will allow me to also check all those quality and completeness boxes and promote each item a bit, as well as seeding more print-worthy verses &c, easing urge to post the first thing written, …. Yadda yadda yadda. Also considering doing one of the two more along the lines of ‘art-of-life’, something topical to current events, or another thing I have insight and experience to, and the other weekly post more pure word art. But since I don’t really control what I sit down to write, and have been notoriously bad at sticking to things all my life, we’ll see.. I think the habits I’ve devised may work this loop of the merry-go-round. More on which, perhaps Wednesday. YMMV, and of course to each his own. Wish me luck! I’ll need it I’m sure, however well aligned and confident I feel right now. 

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Note, if you struggle with smartphone problems, guess what, *there’s an app for that too!* .. Currently installed here, BreakFree, Quality Time, Habits, I Can’t Wake Up!, and IFTTT .. Currently not installed, Facebook, Twitter, Hacker News, & Wikipedia. Added Tumblr back yesterday for a reason.. As always, YMMV, and I am overtime on this post. Best wishes! Resistance is never futile – & …

To-Do Lists & Organization & Wholeness

In to-do lists, make time loosely blocked, yet if there is a fixed set that has shortly worked, do not neglect to consider it.

Do not overload list if you can, this is a downfall of disappointment

Leave room below for day notes. These will help you refine your approach and know strengths and weakness. Here add with ++ things to add for the day.

Make separate a list of all that other things not on the list of today. Make this list today. Make to-do dailies the night before…

Admit to self that there will be little interstitial things and distractives, but meditate on minimizing them

Seeming ever to be ready, burst forth into life!

Often there are hidden parts of ourselves that work to keep us small and out of fulfillment. These can be uncovered and worked with by methods inventive or prescribed. Is the dream really you, or is it a fantasy of evasion?

Tend to your four fires. That of coal, your basic level of life and health, that of flame, the enduring things projects passions that make you whole, and those of arc and star… (Evolutionary Witchcraft, chapter on North/Earth/Body/Material/Money)

Among times of Star, between times of Tube… See between pieces where to generate more time..

Lists and lists, my methods use 4 notebooks in a day currently…

Seeing between pieces the tools of opening.. Tools of creation.. Tools of balance.. Tools of true self..

Do not neglect to reduce isolating going forward, or if you have the opposite problem of lots of draining and distractive togetherness & messaging

Know or begin to search for your proper limits of what to take on..

Self, pride, power, sex, passion

Knowledge, law, liberty, love, wisdom… Note the sequences.. (EW, iron, pearl pentacles)

On the morrow one step closer,

On this eve, sleep in peace!

Blessed be.

This Blog’s Facebook Page

Self-Concept Commutative Telegrams x0001 five stars, I think..

Psychic Fugue Studio

Meditation with Intention & Writing

Set focus of intention before meditation. Write those down to avoid fuzzy vague mindedness.

Select a card or random passage for advice

Write seven lines on your advice theme, fear not tangents!

Set timer for meditation

Proceed.

Making out breath counts longer than in breath releases relaxation forces, practice this

Or square breathing, in x, hold x, out x, hold x, repeat

Let thoughts flow without grasping, remind yourself of intention, visualize an image(s) (may help to pick this first), breath in truth and out not truth, practice self/soul alignment… Practices are many… Mantra or Mandela

Let flow, let daily anxieties and concerns be without feeding… Don’t push the river

Focus on your purpose or approach silence, either can feed purpose. What tensions are there? Learn to let be. Note the jaw; is it tight? Relaxed (teeth are not touching, but trying to force relaxation can be worse than accepting)? Clenched? A combination? This may take time to learn… The Harmony hypnosis app can help.

Or was it impossible to sit still? Was the mind boiling? These too are information.

Pick one thing or three, the necessity is not to do all. A few minutes are better than none. Worry not about perfection.

If you feel the need, rest or nap after, although napping may disturb night sleep in some.. Note what the dreams try to tell you.. Trust yourself; dream dictionaries are not always helpful.

If it feels right, on return, light candle, incense, bless coffee or tea or whathaveyou, select seed symbols or cards or words or passages, and proceed to write. Automatic writing can also be of the form ‘x is…, x is…, x is…, x is… …’, or loose and everywhere.

Magic Star Time, 2

Looney Toons is in arrears

Faith does not save me, yet nor does doubt

A balance of body, a balance of mind

The creeping exhaustion, ever ready to pop in

Holy Mother, in whom we live, move and have our being…

Guide me and strengthen my focus and will

Lift me from my dissolution

Help me lift myself

Stretch my limits, and become other than waste

Let me see the best choices in seeking my fortunes and independence

Lift delusions from my mind and see me complete…

Vines grow by the end of the garden

Captured mouse marks kitty’s 2nd kill

Let us not ruin our precious Earth

Violence bestrows it and technology ever growing

Shift our minds to paths of preservation and peace

Let it not be so that we care so little for future

In peace, rise again, Father Star

Let it be the first day of enduring healing

Let it be said…

In grace and thanks…

Fight for justice…

Go if you must stay if you will,

Thanks and farewell

Less than optimal habit… (Extended Exploration of Ideas) – Attraction and Desire

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The correct response when a girl turns you down is not ‘oh that’s cool’, although thats steps above many other possible ways to react. ‘sucks for me’ would be one possible response, or some other thing…. that would be better than that. ‘oh thats cool’ implies that it is up to you to grant that it is, indeed, cool, when in fact it is always their call and always cool… bitchy, irritated, and angry, etcetera responses, i reckon, are far more common than we would like (guilty, although not recently) and particularly more common among people .. (thinking, of course of boys and men here, since i am one, although i imagine this is equally applicable, although likely not (nearly?) as common among other gender pairings, or the female in a hetero conversation (which would imply that she took the initiative in something, something i imagine many straight guys wish women would do more of) .. who have through lack of experience, just age, or the myriad other factors, have yet to find a (relatively) strong place of confidence and/or self-worth to stand on within themselves. I suppose an unexamined sense of ‘entitlement’ would also be pointed to by many … but I don’t feel like thinking up alternate terms or definitions for the ‘entitlement’ noted, and I feel that ‘sense of entitlement’ is often used as a derogatory club (such as by baby boomers talking about millennials, or in myriad other places where it may be someone’s go to phrase, and may the accusation of ‘entitlement’ does not in all cases reflect a solid knowledge of what is driving the supposedly offending behavior … such as in cases where someone in a privileged position or class objects to a less privileged persons claim on equal treatment or some right or privilege that the privilege one believes they are not entitled to..)

Hope that is not too difficult to untangle and that I didn’t miss anything integral to the points. I shall try to remember to use a better response next time I get shot down instead of ‘oh that’s cool’. Somewhat of a bummer that my request and response seemed to spin the delightful young lady out of the deep and complex ideas and philosophical discussion she had been flowing effortlessly through with me (mostly me listening with brief comments) touching on and linking so many things together so quickly that I can’t really remember all the bits although i suppose it was sort of ‘theories of reality’ ‘theories of people’ and various other stuff and onto more mundane everyday things, and individual people… I wonder what I could have said that would have made the same request without breaking her train of thought (did I?) although I think we did get back onto some interesting stuff after that. it was a sort of unique and you had to be there sort of rap/exchange, which would have been impossible in that form if there had been a third person in the room. Do hope she comes around again soon and often. Some people, and under some circumstances, their magicalness shines unusually brightly to those with eyes and ears attuned for what is happening. Totally put me in a way better mood than my antisocial and brooding on the other problems before she came to hang out in the living room away from the rest.

Ray of Light

Have been sort of concerned I may have put her off due to various past misadventures, errors,  negative conditioning, prevailing mindsets or unconscious attitudes absorbed from society,  and lingering traces of lack of confidence in, for lack of a better word I can think of just now, ‘affectual’ exchanges [edit: perhaps, ‘making a move’?] with women from my younger life. [Difficult sentence to untangle, I see now, but I do not want to fuck with it; I might just make it even more convoluted and impossible]  But judging on the large bulk of what passed thereafter, I think I am reading imaginary things into just a couple of signs. Truly doom and gloom can whip up a hurricane of doubt and fear over a little glamour (in the magical-cognitive sense) on nothing.

It is just more correct to say something more reflective of what has actually happened, rather than weakly affirming that you are not going to have a violent negative emotion from the turn down (and implying that anyone needs your approval or permission to turn you down). *Le sigh*, woe is me, another unavailable person who is so much of what I really want, at least seemingly. I suppose I shall have to actually get my income stream and other problematical things like disastrous housekeeping and some effort on dating profiles into a more passable (or perhaps even outstanding) shape one of these days (sooner than later, one hopes!)… Some improvement has happened in a quite small way on income, help with housekeeping/reorg/rehab, and social life, although there are also drawbacks to having roommates for dating I suppose, just recently.

My suspicion is that she is already attached to the other friend we (the current and former roommates/roommate respectively who were hanging out with the new younger folk) just met who later turned up to give her a ride, rotten luck again for me… There are so many other things we could do together as friends and allies, and in which the age difference would not be looked on with suspicion/disapproval/what-have-you by those who will judge others choices.

I could probably keep this rolling on to other things, but I would like a few people to actually finish it.. [note: a key reason I decided to go ahead and say what I said was that she had a few minutes earlier commented on how problematical it is for people to suppress things, although I forget the precise context of the node in the rap she was flowing through. So I said, “Just in the interest of not suppressing things [what I was desiring].”

Fin.

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[End Note: I do and have, often, sincerely wished open or polyamorous attachments were more the norm, although never having really had the opportunity to try that, I cannot be certain how well I would handle it. And due to numerous factors, I have never really stuck to (or in certain cases blew the option) a relationship long enough for it to really deepen and grow extensively entangled [example: living together as a couple], so I cannot truly say how satisfied I would be with the monogamous option with someone who really hit all my buttons like that conversation. Or various other times I remember failing to grab or blew the chance or didn’t have the option to pair with (or even date) someone I really felt was the one I truly wanted in that particular moment (or year…) of the zeitgeist of my existence. Sometimes it seems having the polyamory option being acknowledged as on the table in ‘normal’ circles of society in 2016 would make everything so much simpler and easier for those who used it. And would close or mitigate some of the popular routes and rationales or excuses or emotional pitfalls that torpedo so many relationships now and throughout history.] … [and would allow delightfully expanded choices for living situations and relationship geometries and dynamics] … [Breaking the Barriers to Desire is a delightful (and the only I have read) book on polyamory (and peoples’ various paths into that choice) that came highly recommended.]  ]

2nd Fin! Wonder if I should see if she’ll read this and what the reaction would be?