You drift, and before you know it, a decade
Aging creeps up on you
Ever unfairly
But getting things done
Feeling the burn
Tired, tired
Tired of waste
Unable to stop
Rubberizing your liver
Strengths are manifold
Weaknesses are crushing
The magic medicine doesn’t work
Filtering through the vibes
Soldiering to your own beat
Coming up on 31
Cover your bases



Waiting, neurological flames

And we dance around the rosy

Pitch darkness, epics in mythic time

Illegal state of mind

From the outside, sad but charming

From the inside, scaling many walls

Wait for what comes up

Drawing a blank

Climbing, neurological flames

Overcoming, still, I rise

I rise with the dawn to a new world, my child’s eyes

Dopamine fire hose, urge to dance {Not here!}

But if I were alone, it wouldn’t be interesting

Half a page for your $4 and 1 hour, an expensive writing proposition

You’ll need to reach happiness in your sobriety one day

The sustainable is what you can do

Growing increasingly faint

The thread to my ego longer and longer

Breath goes silent, the room impinges

Voices, many voices, echoing around me

Serotonin escape & what was her number?

Lack of the Earth shattering quality

I rise, and its like we are states away when its only 4 miles

Onrushing symptom, separating prediction from reality

Separating prediction from reality

Bringing on stream a generator of lovely, an engine of empty

Wisdom in our rumpled sheets, behind high eyelids

As if getting high really handled your questions

(It can handle some, if it itself is handled with an eye to it)

Holding my head up as if no one had ever judged me, instinctually

No weapons and no forcing, just a change in chemistry & bearing

Listen to the Patient


Listen to the patient

He knows his body much better than you, doctor

And in the case of this one

Bad Medecine. partymonstrrrr CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

Bad Medecine.

He also knows pharmacology, & psychiatry & addiction/withdrawal medicine better

In his defense he was not a psychiatrist

But apparently there is no such thing

As an urgent care (doc-in-the-box) for psychiatry

Celebration gone bad CC BY-SA 2.0 docpop

Celebration gone bad
CC BY-SA 2.0

I sense a market niche in need of filling

[was given 1 drug I definitely should not have been allowed to take home, and none of the drugs I needed to manage my condition] [now if only I could cook some more benzos up, but I don’t know how]

I know better than you lily white straightlaced doctors. I know drugs. I know drug states, I know withdrwawal states, I know hallucinations. You just know how to fake a patient seizure to make some money cuz your hospital is empty] ….may be slight paranoia on that point, but it would not make any medical sense for me to have had a seizure and memory hole at that time


Just in case

we prescribe lion’s mane

to all nerve damage patients

Results are good so far

Some junky told us

A patient

Alky actually

In his flush days

And expert/connosieur of recreational drugs

And beta glucan extractive of shroom

For essentially all cancers

We may also have learned a couple of more minor tricks from him

Because neurology expected his hand to go in 4 months

And he mainly recovered

The world benefits

But he nor his family received any award


It is too unofficial to document


likely fictional