Bonkajeedevi

In focus, think of god, angels, the multiverse

Typical evening that triphead

Then to retranslate

All into symbols resembling sanity

Visions most fructulous, 5x the usual amount

A repeating new mantra, a very neat word

‘Bonkajeedevi’ follows through

A key to remember a key to remember

A key to remember the things to which one must not forget

A strike of anxiety on come down, a need for ethyl drink

A remembrance here after treatment, once funds exhausted

Never to have a day of such emptiness as the hangover four days later again

“Cunning, baffling, powerful” they say

A truth

Not that the steps are always necessary to work

Reassemble, I need you clear

You have goals

Clear mind, low anxiety

You are in physiological difficulty

It passes, abstract thought problems also

Ethyl drink will sabotage you, most times

Even periods of semi stability

Were bound to slip

Daily drinking,

Always an interference on creativity

Even three drinks of weeknights, too many on weekends

Bound to have spun you out of the job soon

The need of assigning meaning not necessary to mantras,

Remember it always, and remember the loss of time of avoidable sickness

And loss of memory of ethyl drink

Not to be paralyzed in illness,

Seems what is ordered

Such mote it be

And also to recall the Unitarian Panpsychist prayer

To remember that prayers can be answered

And intentions can be set to trips

Work into your process

And blessed be

Although before a thought to not drinking yet,

After the Holy Hangover of Void, a mood to avoid at all costs,

Yet time passes, and temptations are all around

See to it there is not a dose of purple that high again

Uncontrollable anxiety is to be avoided

As are anxieties of the more pedestrian sort..

See to your Mind

While illness diminishes me
it also makes me wondrous
Deep and unique
The symbology of the phenotype
The literalness of our peril
The cold of january
Splitting hairs and chilling
Harming none for science
Alarming things
Sequencing the mutations
Breakage is memory
Loss is trust
Recovery is in the air
Report for work tomorrow
Learn and see career center
Clean this place
See to your mind
Set all in order

After going numb, we see how it is

Jennifer Boyer  (CC BY 2.0)

Jennifer Boyer (CC BY 2.0)

Not feeling it

Not feeling the anger today

No odd phrase or concept to seed with

And still I have doubts

Niklas  Freidwall  (CC BY 2.0)

Niklas Freidwall (CC BY 2.0)

How do I crack this dependency?

Change this dynamic?

And when I do stand again,

Jennifer Boyer  (CC BY 2.0)

Jennifer Boyer (CC BY 2.0)

How do I know

Know I won’t still be alone

In the wider world?

How do I get them to answer and

Reply?

You make them nervous

They’ve never dealt with different people

Show up

Melissa Adret (CC BY 2.0)

Melissa Adret (CC BY 2.0)

The system is designed

To bind together the freshmen

Transfer students are thus extra foreign

Yet.

Keep up the involvement, the

easy, light approach

Doing without doing, wu-wei

Presence leads to more comfort

Stability & effort lead to more ‘respect’

But do I want the friendship

Of people who took fright

or disrespect

Just because

I was sick?

And wanted no part of helping it heal

We need friends not therapists

They make it worse as often as not

Thierry Ehrmann  (CC BY 2.0)

Thierry Ehrmann (CC BY 2.0)