Bonkajeedevi

In focus, think of god, angels, the multiverse

Typical evening that triphead

Then to retranslate

All into symbols resembling sanity

Visions most fructulous, 5x the usual amount

A repeating new mantra, a very neat word

‘Bonkajeedevi’ follows through

A key to remember a key to remember

A key to remember the things to which one must not forget

A strike of anxiety on come down, a need for ethyl drink

A remembrance here after treatment, once funds exhausted

Never to have a day of such emptiness as the hangover four days later again

“Cunning, baffling, powerful” they say

A truth

Not that the steps are always necessary to work

Reassemble, I need you clear

You have goals

Clear mind, low anxiety

You are in physiological difficulty

It passes, abstract thought problems also

Ethyl drink will sabotage you, most times

Even periods of semi stability

Were bound to slip

Daily drinking,

Always an interference on creativity

Even three drinks of weeknights, too many on weekends

Bound to have spun you out of the job soon

The need of assigning meaning not necessary to mantras,

Remember it always, and remember the loss of time of avoidable sickness

And loss of memory of ethyl drink

Not to be paralyzed in illness,

Seems what is ordered

Such mote it be

And also to recall the Unitarian Panpsychist prayer

To remember that prayers can be answered

And intentions can be set to trips

Work into your process

And blessed be

Although before a thought to not drinking yet,

After the Holy Hangover of Void, a mood to avoid at all costs,

Yet time passes, and temptations are all around

See to it there is not a dose of purple that high again

Uncontrollable anxiety is to be avoided

As are anxieties of the more pedestrian sort..

Dash something off and move on to the things that need to be done…

————————
In the arms of the ocean
Being all trued
Being seen for what one is
In entirety
Loss of keys and loss of clues
Recovery and stumbles
Jabbering among the apes nearby
Loss of methodical stillness
Loss of balance among withdrawal
Loss of chaos among lies
Loss of angels
Gain of roommates (*sigh*)
Really must not do that again
Not proving to be a willpower issue
Yet ups and downs restrict and imply
Yet unwilling to go back to treatment
Yet stilling the losses
Yet…
Get them filled and take them only when you feel like it!
See and believe
Natter and trip
No way am I going to three doctors and a therapist
No.
A bridge to be crossed
A need for something better
A few unbalanced days to be expected
Detoxing again, but more mildly
Let be, let be, let be
Let stop!
Lightning dances here
No one listens
The sound of explosions noted
The sound of God’s incipient gratitude
Demonoid spake thus:
.. Real of the night
.. Is not real of the day
.. Or it is, but you can never prove it
.. Loss of independence is costly
.. Loss of truth is harmful
.. Gain of energy, of motivation,
.. Is key to your aims
.. Slight return and capitalization of intent
.. Seizures are flukes
.. Hold to your own truth
.. Be lost amongst the articles
.. Hold to that which you know
.. “Sometimes paper is the only one who will listen to you” -twitter
.. Bully on it
.. Time to move along
.. Time to fall back in
.. To the real

What is the puzzling N icon on my phone?
Almost looking like it could stand for NSA?
Why is there no information on it?
The cockroaches attempt to be rebranded
Stilling the heart for the moment
Vigorously promoting your victories
And whence the great sky god?
To be is the question
Never to be undone
The V for vendetta
Is coming to a head
Totalitarians should be fearful
The Jabberwock returns for another round
—————-
Apparently it was for NFC. Now switched off, as is Bluetooth.

cliche/lyric/horror

Something wicked this way comes

But all they wanted was a villain, a villain

And all they got was me

The ghost of the lost flying ship

The trap of eternity

The insane god of the nebula at the beginning

No god at all but an electrical space intelligence

Nearly immortal but utterly alone

How does it happen?

Long ago created the first DNA in it’s loneliness

Went irrevocably mad before ever the answer came back

As radio

In truth still has not arrived

But the mad creature encoded it’s message in the code

We live with its consequences still

While it is completely ruined, as ruined as a person in the Christian hell would be, but by emptiness

Or long ago dispersed by movements

Of starsĀ 

Oh, woe, woe to the first intelligence

Doomed to endless eons trapped in space

Nothing but the unchanging stars to watch

And our terrible myths to spin