Fortunes 1-5-2014

Your endless self criticalness
Dips into your soul
Tormenting it
You itch to change
But you are stuck –
Until you try internet dating
.
A stick of dynamite
Would more easily solve your problems
Than the frantic emails
You are attempting to use
Consider a change of employment
.
Your tormenters are not your enemies
They are goading you on
To greatness
But you are too meek to seek it
.
The only thing you are less competent at
Than brushing your teeth
Is that great dream you have
I think you know how to brush your teeth
.
The sequence of moves you will need to make
To get that hot little thing to sleep with you
Is long and convoluted
Requiring empathy and confidence
You may have the patience
But will you stick to it?
.
Assert your mastery of the situation now
Or these doors will close to you
.
Stick to the walls of the Moon
For these are the places
To understand the mysteries
.
You do not need mysteries
All you need is newness
.
A little want and a little need
Go a long way
.
Nine sticks could bear the true weight
Of that which weighs so heavily upon your heart
Wake up to the light of day
Not into another dream
.
Tomorrow night,
Your life will hang by a thread
Consider purchasing a shot of naloxone
Or, alternately, halfing your doses
.
A timeless story will make it’s way to your ears
Tomorrow morning
Consider taking notes
It will provide your big break
.
Your trip will be a bust
Cancel your tickets
Have a staycation instead
From here on out, encrypt your cellphone
.
Don’t die in a shootout
Keep the safety on

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