./@#~

depression is a bitch
but one must
be able to sit through
certain amounts of pain
in order
not to fall back in
to drinking
at the first
opportunity
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
unable to easily get the proper medications
i wait
perhaps tomorrow the doctors will help
but most likely
they will not do as i ask
will what they give me do any good?
a question for the ages
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
back on the outside looking out
looking in
exiled by society
I wait
maybe in a few months
i can get the fetters off me
will i make it?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
sleep my only recourse
still many hours off
we go silently suffering
morning brings coffee
and perhaps a somewhat better day
I try isochronic tones
and uncomfortable failing in meditation
in hopes to ease it
but i doubt any real relief soon

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One thought on “./@#~

  1. ‘like’ is the wrong button here, more like a ‘you touch my heart with plaint and close’-ness button; please don’t stop with the meditation, but sit with all the mucoid thought as a parent with a muddy child: you can clean it up later, for now watch how it gets muddy …

    Like

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